Sunday, September 28, 2008

How it began

On October 1st, 2007 my fiance Sarah received her "letter." The letter was an offer from the police department to attend their police academy. Shortly after, in December 2007, she would start her six-month journey toward becoming a cop. We had waited for this letter for three months. Frankly, Sarah was almost unbearable. She had so much anxiety and hope wrapped up in becoming a cop, this letter was just the first of many moments we were to share. After a few weeks of talking about the academy and getting prepared, I started to realize what this meant for me too. Not just regarding my relationship with Sarah, but I started to realize that this is going to change who I am. 
This is not an experience that is just going to wash over me. This is not like the first day of a new class. You know, where you sit in a room with a bunch of other new students who are nervous and just want to see how things are going to go. You're hoping you are not the dumbest kid in the class, but you also hope you don't have to do all the homework and can squeak by with just showing up for class. You eventually begin to understand dynamics and expectations. The instructor lets their personality show just a little and you realize you can absolutely make it through the class by just showing up. Homework is just a story, a myth. Over time, you realize, I got this! Being the wife of a cop, is nothing like this. There is no syllabus, there are no assignments or enrichments, there are no extra credit points, no instructor to help you along. It seems there are only tests. Some big, some small. Some painful, some that remind you how wonderful humanity can be. Most of the time, the tests are about understanding what kind of person you are. This is true not only for Sarah, the cop; but for me as well, the wife. And to tell the truth, I am still trying to figure out if I can be the wife of a cop.

This is the record of a journey, my journey to be the wife of a cop.

I remember the first time I met Sarah. We were in a class together. Of course, as you always have to on the first day of class, we all had to share why we were taking this particular class: requirement, elective, or still trying to figure it out. Sarah said: "I want to be a cop and I think this degree will get me there." I always thought that was just a pick up-line...



4 comments:

James Lutz said...

Hi Jess,
I have a cousin who is a C-Bus police officer. He absolutely loves it (and is also happily married). The job can be stressful, but strong relationships can weather many storms. It sounds like you and Sarah are committed to making this work. Keep us posted what it's like to be "the wife of a cop".
Jim Lutz

Heidi said...

best wishes - as the wife of a C-Bus firefighter/Paramedic, I will tell you that will enjoy lots of new 'family' members on the force, ones that will become part of your lives for a lifetime and in many cases ones you can count on more than your biological family.

Heidi

Liz Highley said...

Jess,

I can imagine that being the wife of a cop means facing some unique challenges. But I agree with Jim - it sounds like you and your partner have a very strong relationship. Like they always say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Just take it one day at a time and hopefully you will be fine! Best wishes on the journey.

Liz

Emily said...

Holy man, I would act like a complete ninny if I were the wife of a cop. Good for you! My husband is a danger person - always going off on extreme outdoor excursions (the kind that you see on Discovery Chan). I like a whacko. I'm happy for him but it freaks me out. So I can relate to any feelings that you might have about her safety. As for the hectic schedule....that's the amazing part about being in the "forever" kind of relationship. It's a unique love. The kind that we choose to have day after day. Unlike the love we have for our children and parents, the love we have for our spouse is the kind that we choose - and therefore, we keep choosing to support our special person. Good for you for supporting each other's professional goals. Looking foward to meeting you at class.

rah rah rah
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